CBB – Anybody care to share their Stephen Baldwin best quotes?

Here’s some of mine:

(to Dane, Sisqo, etc)"I just think it’s funny when the jokes on you, Ha Ha Ha, He He He, Ho Ho Ho, Twiddly Dee Dee"

(Regarding the benches being painted with honey) "Maybe that’s just their way of being sweet *does an incredible laugh*"

(to Vinnie) "Well I’m not the one who was on the cover of sports illustrated for grabbing another guy’s crotch"

(to Alex) "You get that fixed, and that fixed, and you can be James Bond" (not sure if that’s his exact words)

when he was talking to the devil on the back of the door

hes words where " ha ha Looser" it was his dry matter of fact way of saying it to that made it funny

are these not the best quotes and funniest you have heard?

We had gay burglars the other night.
They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

"Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a
woman I don’t like and just give her a house."

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and
you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin
bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"

"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead.

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do."

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."

"If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

ooooohhh wwwwooooo you have out done yr self…
esp

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."

"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead.

. … .. ….. / |.. / | _
…….. \ , ../.. 7` ´.. ../_
…. ._\. `\. ´. , – ..-.. .. +_
.. .` ,.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. , – ……. My mother
.. .. _7.. . O.. .O.. .. Y_ ……….. never saw the irony
.. .( _.. .. .. (_) .. .. .. _ ) …………….. in calling me a
.. .. .. \ .. ______ ,. /……………..son-of-a-*****."
.. .. .. ..`\ ., – …./., ´
.. .. .. . / `. === ´ \ .
.. .. .. / – | – – – – – -\\
.. .. . / – – | – – – – – – | ´
.. .. _ 7 | – – – – – – – -|
.. . ( _ , ..\ – – – – – – |
.. .. (_ / – ´=====|
.. . _ j __ , – – . , – .. .- .
.. . ( l l /.. .. .. ) ..____ )
.. .. ` – — — ´

♥ஜ♥~•´¯`•–<>(BRILLIANT)<>–•´¯`.~♥ஜ♥

50 funniest Homer Simpson’s quotes!!!?

I will post 25 today, and 25 tomorrow!!

# Operator! Give me the number for 911!
# Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
# Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
# Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
# I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
# Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
# Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
# Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’
# Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
# Doughnuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
# You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
# Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
# When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
# Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
# I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
# [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
# What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
# Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
# Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
# The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
# When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
# I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

# Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
# I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?
# Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

OMG! Thanks for the great laughs! I love my Homey and can’t wait to watch what kind of trouble he gets into in the Simpsons Movie.

What would be a good topic for…?

my middle school Yearbook podcast?

What we’re doing is selling our regular Yearbooks and also selling podcasts separately with videos and pictures and music that we make about that year.
The podcast topics already are:

– The Yearbook elective ( with funny interviews…)
– A teacher
– Halloween
– The Korean Immersion Class
– Sport teams

and etc

What’s an interesting topic to take pics, videos, and/or interviews about?
I’m thinking of getting last words from some of the graduating 8th graders ( it’s a K-8 grade school ) with funny or interesting quotes and memories.

Any ideas?

Thanks for the help!

funny things classmates get caught doing
funny sayings
students working together
labs
pets
friends
projects
science
gym
achievements

good luck

Which of the following NFL quotes is the funniest?

Bo Jackson: "If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother."

RB George Rogers: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

John Madden: "The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer."

Terry Bradshaw: "I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid."

William "The Refrigerator" Perry: "I’ve been big ever since I was little."

Paul Tagliabue: "I’m a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling."

Bob Golic: "If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same."

Joe Theisman: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Jerry Rice: "I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that. "

Bruce Coslett: "We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now."
U of M – very good…should have been on the list.

Those are all pretty good! The only one I had heard before was the Norman Einstein one.

The funniest one is probably Rice’s. I can imagine most of the others being said in a sarcastic tone, but Rice’s comment reads like it’s supposed to be a serious statement.

running quotes to put on a shirt?

funny, inspiring, serious, whatever. Something appropriate, I wanted to put "my sport has balls other sports just play with them" but I can’t put that on a shirt.because I’m 13. yes. It sucks.

Thank you.

Tomorrow is another day, and there will be another battle!
-Sebastian Coe

"It’s rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
-Adidas ad

I told you all I was going to be No. 1, and I did just that.
– Usain Bolt

Hope I could help 🙂

Funny swim quote ideas?

I’m on my schools swimteam and my status’ on FB are alwaaaysss about swimming and swim quotes and all that stuff…can anyone help me out with REALLY funny swim quotes like:
Ten Reasons SWIMMINGS the best overall sport:
1. We twist more than dancers
2.Yell more than cheerleaders
3. Flip more than gymnasts
4. dive to "homeplate" more than baseball players
ect, ect.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 10 POINTS~!?

What goes around comes around, just like a flipturn.
When the world oerflows from global warming, swimmers will prosper!
Swim like the invisible pool monster is chasing you!

How can I import a tv scene into Youtube?

I’ve always wondered how people make the youtube videos of funny quotes or a scene from a movie or sport event. Not the whole thing, since it usually doesnt allow for more than 10min. I just want a 2min scene.

How can I get it done? What will I need?

A way to get it onto your computer, this can be done by downloading the video or recording the video straight from the source (cable, satellite, OTA, etc.), which will require a video input card for your computer. Then you need to edit it down to that scene with your video editing software. But FYI you can get in a lot of trouble uploading copyrighted content.

Volleyball quotes that make fun of cheerleading?

I want to annoy this girl who i hate, she thinks she is all that just because she is a cheerleader( no offense to cheerleader, i don’t hate you guys, i hate her and yes i think cheerleading is a sport) something funny please

"be nice to cheerleaders- they got cut from last year’s volleyball team"

thats the only one i know.

I guess "volleyball players: pretty in pink BUT wicked in uniform"
kinda works.
lol

thought of another:
"friends don’t let friends cheerlead"