My Man Has No Motivation?

My fiance and I have been together for over a year. When we were first together, he had a job, lived on his own, and had hobbies (for instance, playing soccer). In the past few months, he stopped playing soccer and quit his job. Since that happened, he has been sleeping in every day, and he’s only filled out two job applications. When I try and get him motivated to get out of bed and DO things, he just says he has no motivation. I work almost full time, go to school full time, and do most of the cooking and cleaning. It seems to me that he has just started relying on me to do everything. Whenever I tell him I want him to wake up earlier and/or fill out more applications, he acts like he feels terrible about not doing these things already, gets really down on himself and says he’s useless. This makes me really bad for him, so the nagging usually turns into me comforting him and telling him how he is worth something. His parents divorced a few months ago, and it has been really hard on him, so I think this has a lot to do with the rut he’s in. I am just wondering, should I just wait it out and hope when he’s emotionally healed he’ll start doing things again? Or should I give him an ultimatum such as, FIND some motivation somewhere or lose me? The fact that he was self-sufficient when we were first together gives me hope, and I really want us to work out. But he just seems to be digging himself into a hole- he has low self esteem because he doesn’t have a job and sleeps all day, and the low self esteem keeps him from being motivated, and the lack of motivation leads to the same situation, which builds on the low self esteem. HELP!! Does this sound like a fixable situation??

Bribe him with sex

3 thoughts on “My Man Has No Motivation?”

  1. Bribe him with sex. It will turn him on and he will appreciate it if you seem like you want it. Give him lots of sex. My wife gives it to me alot and I do anything for her even though i wait till the last minute most of the time. Seriously act like you want it and him alot and be really disappointed when he doesn’t follow through. It will build his self esteem to feel wanted sexually and thats what he needs. Or maybe he is a lazy a** im sure you know what it is. Make sure he isn’t doing drugs though!
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  2. Remember that when you choose a life partner you are also choosing the father of your future children. With this man there will be no money ( if he doesn’t change) and no cute clothes for your kids and no health insurance. You will be poor. When you are pregnant and you will be, there will be no income and public housing takes a long time to get. Next time you go shopping look at the moms who are poor and see how happy they aren’t. Life is very hard for poor women married to drinkers, druggies and lazy men. You need to think this over. Many parents are divorced and the kids don’t fall apart. You deserve better and it is out there. Marrying or having children with this man will pull you down to his level. I wish the best for you and I am glad that you see him as he is and not saying , But I love him. YES but does he love you enough to be the man he should be? That is really the question and you should not have to get him to be interested in working this should be something he learned from his father. If you quit your job today, how long do you think he would stay with you?
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